Welcome to Empirical Purple

A blog by Simon Brady to cover a surprisingly wide range of geekiness, in a combination that no-one else does quite the same way. Probably. Either that, or it'll just be Simon talking about the likes of Football (usually the Soccer variety), PC & Tabletop Gaming, WWE, Movies, Music and occasionally even my actual job of Graphic Design, depending on what I'm up to in the world.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Beckham Plan to Save Football Finances

Football Association Chairman David Bernstein today hailed his plan for LA Galaxy to loan former England Captain David Beckham out to each of the 92 English Premiership and Football League clubs as 'a financial masterstroke'.

"Who wouldn't want to own their club's shirt with Beckham's name on the back?" the former Manchester City Chairman told Empirical Purple, "just imagine how many shirts the likes of Macclesfield Town could shift when Beckham turns up to play at the Moss Rose for three weeks. It'll create a sustainable financial base in the game for, I dunno, years to come. Probably."

It is thought the scheme could produce some eleven billion pounds, more than enough to pay for the insurance needed for one of the game's truly global figures to deliver pinpoint crosses from the right to the lower league's perennial underachievers such as Vincent Péricard, while still having enough left over for the FA to launch a bid for the 2026 World Cup with the word 'Meh' in the proposal.

Bernstein is now entering multilateral talks with every English League club to ensure that either the number seven or the number twenty-three shirts are kept free for Beckham's usage in the future, or failing that, at least some combination of numbers that has something to do with seven, such as seventeen, seventy-seven, as well as any and all of the mathematically accepted 'Iván Zamorano numbers', such as 16, 25, 34, 43, 52 and 61.

"The bonus number is 7," Bernstein added enthusiastically.

(This post inspired by Back Of The Net's comedy stylings)

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